Faking News: Sphagetti replaces rice and roti as the staple diet for the people of Telengana

This morning expressing deep gratitude to Smt. Sonia Gandhi for granting Telengana state,  TRS leader KCR announced that from next week all the people in the newly formed state will start eating spaghetti as a staple diet in the place of Rice or Roti.  He said to the reporters in an emotional tone “this is the only way our people can express their gratitude for generation after generation to our mother Sonia”. KCR also said that he understands that it takes time for people to adjust to this new food.  “We welcome famous chefs like Sanjeev Kapoor to come up with recipes involving Spaghetti along with Gongura, Mango pickle”.

As soon as the Telengana bill was passed in the Lower house this morning, thousands of supporters started offering prayers at the Soniamma Gudi (Sonia temple) built in the outskirts of Hyderabad by Sri Shankar Rao. Sri. Rao, talking to the reporters said that “our dream is to make this temple a kaliyuga Tirupati. We have already started services like offering hair along with various other important services similar to Tirupati”.  Our reporters learnt that the current waiting list for some of these services runs up to 12-14 months. Sri. Digvijay Singh, the key architect of Telengana state's formation  talking to the reporters said “there can’t be anything more secular than this. A Hindu temple built for a Christian woman from Italy married to a Zoroastrian man. This is what we believe in as a party”

An emotional KTR, son of KCR also urged all the Telengana people to name their babies that are born today and for the next 3 months after Sonia, Rahul and Priyanka.  “This is the least we can do for the royal family who is responsible for our liberation” said KTR talking to PTI reporters. He also rubbished all the rumors that are floating around that people of Andhra will be expelled from the state with immediate effect. “This is a false propaganda by the opposition parties lead by Chandra Babu Naidu and Jagan Mohan Reddy.  We don’t want anyone to leave immediately as this can create a governance crisis” said a visibly upset KTR. However, the government is planning to conduct a test in Telengana culture and language for all the government servants in six months.  Employees failing to secure minimum marks will be asked to leave the state.  To help people from Andhra to master the language, the government will dismantle the computer training institutes in Ameerpet and replace them with TTLCs (Telengana Telugu Learning Centers).  Key TRS leaders such as Kodandaram, Kavitha, etc will teach these classes directly to a million people over the next 6 months.

Overall the mood in the TRS Headquarters and at KCR household is quite upbeat. 

How Telengana exposed both the family and the Parivar

1. The Andhra Pradesh Reorganisation Bill, 2014 was one of the most undemocratically passed bills in the

history of Indian democracy.

2. It was passed only after Speaker Meira Kumar agreed to Congress's game-plan of passing the bill amidst utter chaos.

3. The bill saw the climax of MP’s ensuring the physical security in the house. Home Minister Sushil Kumar Shinde and Congress president Sonia Gandhi were protected by MPs like Ashok Tanwar of Haryana and J M Aroon Rashid from Theni, Tamil Nadu, till the bill was passed.

4. Since it was shameful moment for India and a blot on the conduct of the Lok Sabha, the Speaker ensured the process of creation of India’s 29th state was not seen live on television screens.

5. When the various amendments were carried forward, L K Advani displayed his dissent, clearly. He didn't stand up for the head count.

6. Sonia Gandhi was looking tense but was quite active and directing her party's MPs. It was her ‘nuclear-deal’ type moment. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh had risked his government to get nod of Parliament for the Indo-US nuclear deal. Sonia Gandhi stood firm even after facing a vertical divide in her party and even amongst her own core team members. As events took their own momentum, Sonia Gandhi went for the kill. Her immediate concern was to see that the ‘BJP's bluff was called’ and ‘Jagan Reddy's wings are clipped forever’. Reddy will have his influence only over 25 Lok Sabha seats and not 42 as his father YSR Reddy, who ironically was a trusted Sonia man. 

7. Communist Party of India-Marxist leader Sitaram Yechury has said that there was match-fixing between Congress and the BJP. Otherwise how come BJP's PM candidate was talking about independent Telangana today in Karnataka, he asked. This is partially true. Both sides played a game of posturing. It was deception of the highest order. But at one point the BJP was caught unawares when in spite of risk of violence inside the Lok Sabha and outside in the streets of Andhra Pradesh, the Congress took up the bill. The BJP was not given any option but to give straight answer -- are you for Telangana or not?

That happened today and Sushma Swaraj looked dwarfed by the game played by Congress. It was Asaduddin Owaisi of the All India Majlis-e-Ittehadul Muslimeen who moved amendments and rose to talk about people of Andhra Pradesh. He moved amendments that made sense. But, the BJP was looking dumb. Some of the BJP’s amendments were incorporated in the final draft of the bill but not all.

8. In its defence now the BJP is saying, off the record, that Narendra Modi, Swaraj, Arun Jaitley and Rajnath Singh were very clear that the BJP cannot back out of the promise of backing Telangana. They decided to take the line that ‘Justice for Seema-Andhra and the creation of Telangana.” It’s such sorry state of affairs for the BJP that after fiasco in the Lok Sabha, Jaitley will now be requested to forcefully talk about crucial issue of ‘revenue package’ and ‘law and order’ issue of Hyderabad in the Rajya Sabha to pacify the Seema-Andhra people. But, the BJP will not dare to play any game now. It’s too late. They will have to support the bill in the Rajya Sabha but may be Jaitley can give a spirited speech and say that when the next government comes we will give ‘justice to Seema-Andhra’.  

9. All along the Congress alleged that the BJP was a divided house and the BJP alleged that the Congress is a divided house. Both tried gaining in both regions by doing everything wrong and undemocratic. But on Tuesday, Sonia Gandhi took the political call and sat in Parliament throughout the proceedings. But the tragic element of the scene inside Parliament for everybody to see was that Sonia Gandhi was sitting in front of the political wreckage of her party's ten-year rule.

It was a Pyrrhic victory for her due to complete absence of the statecraft in her party and the government. But nevertheless she created a new chapter in Telugu history. It was India's misfortune that due to politics played with gambler's instincts by our leaders the birth of the new state was not a matter of pure joy as it should have been.

10. There are too many legal, constitutional and administration related lacunas in the bill. So, the last word on it has not yet been spoken. 

BJP scores a self goal on the Telengana issue

Most of the people from Andhra Pradesh knew that the formation of Telengana was just a matter of time as the ruling and the principal opposition party support it. Being a helpless supporter of the united Andhra cause, I felt that the BJP could have handled this in a much better way. 

BJP has been supporting Telengana for a long time. However when the state is finally formed, they will not win a single seat in that region. TRS+Cong will sweep the new state and that leaves the Seemandhra region, the home of one of the tallest leaders of the party Shri Venkaiah Naidu. Telugu Desam Party (TDP) and YSR Congress hinted a potential partnership with NDA in several forums in the recent past. All BJP had to do was to be visible as someone who supported Telengana and equally cared for Seemandhra region. They could have been vocal about the financial package, amendments, etc on the floor and wouldn't have allowed the voting without the discussion. This would have ensured the support of 20 + MPs for NDA in the next Lok Sabha election.  But they chose to walk into Congress's trap. With these recent developments, I do not expect NDA winning even one seat in AP. In fact, some of the folks I polled are willing to support MIM purely based on amendments proposed by Owaisi. 

Congress used its experience really well to manage the passage of the bill by keeping everyone guessing till the end and rushing it through in the end. It followed a similar strategy for  the Food Security Bill. Now it begs the question- who is in charge of BJP's strategy on the floor? Ever since Advani ji lost control over the party,BJP's floor strategy is at its abysmal best. The current leaders are acting like paper tigers only focusing on debates on TV channels vs. fighting it out on the floor. The new guard of BJP is not delivering in the Parliament and are acting as Sonia's agents without their knowledge.

Net Net, I feel doubly let down as a citizen of Andhra Pradesh (and India) and as a supporter of BJP. The party has squandered an advantage to the third front and I am afraid lost a great opportunity to form the next government. AP played a critical role in the government formation in the 15th loksabha and will play even more bigger role in the 16th.

The only way for BJP to salvage this situation is to launch an aggressive campaign supporting the needs of Andhra region and hope that people forgive them.

Please also read
1. http://www.firstpost.com/politics/how-sushma-modi-rss-bypassed-advani-to-push-telangana-bill-1398073.html
2. http://www.firstpost.com/politics/passage-of-telangana-how-cong-bjp-sold-democracy-for-votes-1397539.html
3. http://innosights.blogspot.in/2014/02/how-telengana-exposed-both-family-and.html

Faking News: Bill Gates dumps Ballmer to save Andhra Pradesh

In a desperate move to keep Andhra Pradesh united, Software giant appoints son of the soil Satya Nadella as its CEO. This comes as a huge morale booster for the pro united Andhra groups as they battle the separatists in the Parliament starting today. Microsoft founder Bill Gates announced the appointment of Satya Nadella as the CEO this morning. Talking to our reporters, he said “this move should be seen as a step towards our support to the cause of united Andhra Pradesh. We have had many senior leaders from that state contributing to our growth over the years”.  

While this news surprised the global technology community, MSFT sees this as the only way to stay in Business. It is reported that 40% of the Microsoft employees are of Indian origin and 60% of them are from Andhra Pradesh. Ramesh Babu Surampudi, SVP employee relations at MSFT told the reporters in Redmond that “Andhra Pradesh is very central to Microsoft’s growth strategy. Our employees made investments worth several thousand crores in the Hyderabad area and not to mention the sprawling campus we have built in the city. The split of the state would severely damage their fortunes”. According to a source who wished to remain anonymous “last month employees from Andhra gave an ultimatum to Bill Gates that they will resign if he doesn’t intervene”.  PTI also got hold of the results of a survey that was conducted by MSFT where most of its customers refused to buy software in future if it is not built by Telugu speaking people.

According to a press release this morning Microsoft spent lot of time in studying the issue before appointing Nadella as its CEO. The fact that the chief minister of Andhra Pradesh and Nadella share a similar background (both families hail from Andhra and both of them studied in Hyderabad Public School which is in Telengana) tipped the decision in favor of Mr. Nadella. Leaders from United Andhra welcomed the decision.  “This is a huge decision and it really gives us lot of strength to fight the separatists on the floor of the Parliament. We really thank Sri. Bill Gates for this and also would like to rename Krishna District as ‘Krishna-Gates’ district after the next loksabha election”, said Lagadapati Rajagopal speaking to the reporters.  Chandra Babu Naidu, the leader of the Telugu Desam Party and the former CM hailed this decision and claimed that he played a huge role in Nadella’s appointment. He said ‘I spoke to Mr. Gates when he visited our state when I was the CM. I told that him that he must make a Telugu person as the CEO one day. I am glad my advice was finally acted upon”. While the pro Andhra group is jubilant, the separatists are pretty upset about this news.  Mr. K. Chandra Sekhar Rao also popularly known as KCR, leader of TRS rubbished this decision and said “we don’t agree with this decision. I know MSFT has a huge grudge against the people of Telengana. This was evident when my son KTR failed to get a job in that company in 1999 in spite of his superior qualifications and my recommendation letter”.  Mr. Digvijay Singh summarized his party’s position on this by saying that “while we don’t like the decision but it is matter completely internal to Microsoft. We are glad that Mr. Nadella is a secular person who loves cricket and we will be glad to offer him a cabinet berth if we were to form the next government”.

Faking News: SMS based voting system to be used in the upcoming Lok Sabha polls

Inspired by the recent referendum that was responsible for Aam Admi Party’s government formation in Delhi, Election commission of India took a decision to conduct the upcoming elections to 16^th Lok Sabha using an SMS based voting mechanism. The Chief Election Commissioner today talking to the press said “ it’s easy to use and very popular mechanism in the India. Its horizontally scalable i.e. can easily enable a multi-party election”. The Election commission would also like to experiment a “missed call” based voting system in the near future.  The benefits of this system would include larger participation and lower costs. According to a recent estimate, the government spent Rs 10000 Crores (1.6 Billion USD) of tax payers’ money in 2009. This number is expected to go up by 20% in 2014 election. With the proposed SMS based voting mechanism, the Govt estimates to reduce this expenditure by 70%.

This afternoon Shri Digvijay Singh, a top Congress party leader welcomed this decision and thanked Arvind Kejriwal for coming up with this innovation. Shri. Nitin Gadkari, leader of the BJP suggested that the some of the savings should be allocated to political parties as party fund. “This will bring complete transparency to the election funding process “said Gadkari and also expressed gratitude to AAP for coming up with such a system. The chief spokesperson of AAP, Sri Kumar Biswas told media persons that this innovation is not his party’s but it belongs to Aam Admi.  He suggested that this model can be now implemented in parliament and state assemblies for various legislations. Shri Kumar Biswas also suggested that netas will no longer need to attend parliament with such a system in place. This indirectly reduces the number of lal batti gaadis and the problem of Govt Bungalows in Delhi.

Hower, Samajwadi Party leader Akhilesh Yadav criticized this decision by the Election Commison (EC). “This is the best example of Crony Capitalism to benefit Telecom companies. Who is going to bear the SMS charges” he said. In response to Mr. Yadav’s criticism, EC responded that the amount spent on SMS can be easily transferred back to Citizens’s bank account by using the Adhar card subsidy model developed for LPG connection subsidies.

Election commission is already in talks with major IT companies for technology solutions. However, our sources confirmed that Sony TV offered to help by letting the Government use the software developed for popular reality show Indian Idol.