Faking News: Bill Gates dumps Ballmer to save Andhra Pradesh

In a desperate move to keep Andhra Pradesh united, Software giant appoints son of the soil Satya Nadella as its CEO. This comes as a huge morale booster for the pro united Andhra groups as they battle the separatists in the Parliament starting today. Microsoft founder Bill Gates announced the appointment of Satya Nadella as the CEO this morning. Talking to our reporters, he said “this move should be seen as a step towards our support to the cause of united Andhra Pradesh. We have had many senior leaders from that state contributing to our growth over the years”.  

While this news surprised the global technology community, MSFT sees this as the only way to stay in Business. It is reported that 40% of the Microsoft employees are of Indian origin and 60% of them are from Andhra Pradesh. Ramesh Babu Surampudi, SVP employee relations at MSFT told the reporters in Redmond that “Andhra Pradesh is very central to Microsoft’s growth strategy. Our employees made investments worth several thousand crores in the Hyderabad area and not to mention the sprawling campus we have built in the city. The split of the state would severely damage their fortunes”. According to a source who wished to remain anonymous “last month employees from Andhra gave an ultimatum to Bill Gates that they will resign if he doesn’t intervene”.  PTI also got hold of the results of a survey that was conducted by MSFT where most of its customers refused to buy software in future if it is not built by Telugu speaking people.

According to a press release this morning Microsoft spent lot of time in studying the issue before appointing Nadella as its CEO. The fact that the chief minister of Andhra Pradesh and Nadella share a similar background (both families hail from Andhra and both of them studied in Hyderabad Public School which is in Telengana) tipped the decision in favor of Mr. Nadella. Leaders from United Andhra welcomed the decision.  “This is a huge decision and it really gives us lot of strength to fight the separatists on the floor of the Parliament. We really thank Sri. Bill Gates for this and also would like to rename Krishna District as ‘Krishna-Gates’ district after the next loksabha election”, said Lagadapati Rajagopal speaking to the reporters.  Chandra Babu Naidu, the leader of the Telugu Desam Party and the former CM hailed this decision and claimed that he played a huge role in Nadella’s appointment. He said ‘I spoke to Mr. Gates when he visited our state when I was the CM. I told that him that he must make a Telugu person as the CEO one day. I am glad my advice was finally acted upon”. While the pro Andhra group is jubilant, the separatists are pretty upset about this news.  Mr. K. Chandra Sekhar Rao also popularly known as KCR, leader of TRS rubbished this decision and said “we don’t agree with this decision. I know MSFT has a huge grudge against the people of Telengana. This was evident when my son KTR failed to get a job in that company in 1999 in spite of his superior qualifications and my recommendation letter”.  Mr. Digvijay Singh summarized his party’s position on this by saying that “while we don’t like the decision but it is matter completely internal to Microsoft. We are glad that Mr. Nadella is a secular person who loves cricket and we will be glad to offer him a cabinet berth if we were to form the next government”.